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We all get stuck behind a thought (that we create!) and then proceed to gather evidence to justify the thought or belief. We create experiences which we then interpret as supporting our interpretations. A whirlwind of insanity that is consistently repeated... and then again! So we can say... see, I told you so!, I told you I was right (eous). We need to do this in order to support our sense of reality to maintain our reality. Psychotherapy, in my mind anyway, is not, nor should it be, about fixing a problem, or colluding with another person's belief or thought structure. It is a complex process of helping you clarify your understanding of your experience, exploring that understanding, reflecting that understanding, expanding that understanding and then altering the perception to help provide a sense of inclusion and connection; to experience your understanding through another's eyes without judgment or assumptions. When I'm asked what modality do I use in psychotherapy, I t...

Let's start with the obvious... We have a body. Our bodies are indicators that we're “alive” (with a sense of temporary permanence). You may like your body or not, but you will have it from the time you’re born to the day you die. We all seem to have things about our bodies that are either too big or too small or not in the right place. Our genetics are the creation of our ancestors… blame them if you need to blame someone. Then, do with it what you can to keep it healthy. Look at the obvious... What do you put into your body? Is it nurished sufficiently? Do you exercise your body? enough? do you sleep enough? We learn lessons. We all need to learn the same things about life and how to live. It’s a full time job. Everything we experience is a potential lesson and it never seems to end. Just when we think we get something, we don't. What's in your rear view mirror? We will experience mistakes. Mistakes seem to be part of growing. Now, chhhilll.... relaaaax...  We can onl...

None of us like to think that we " judge " (or at last don't like being caught in the act or think we are doing it on purpose). Most of us consider judgment as a form of looking for or creating negative information... typically about somone else. Some use it as a form of entertainment... Is " judging " normal? What's the purpose of this? What is the fimiliar outcome? Why do we do it... and sooooo frequently....? Is it a comparison to allow ourselves to feel better? If we are critical or find fault in another person then at least we can say that "we don't do that!" or "look like that" or "aren't that way"... Even in our "positive judgment" we tend to be comparing... noticing differences... Why? What then draws our attention to "that" in the first place and then cause us to place judgement? Our judgments allow us to hold our typically thought patterns and beliefs in place. We construct a sense of reali...

Is this a day of celebration of love in your life? Is it about that special gift? That special person? For some, it is a day of regret, of loss, of depression... The kind of love most associated with this day, is typically about romantic love created from our limited sense of what that kind of love is. We can also look at how much we like someone, how much we enjoy their company, how much we may think of them in their absense, what our personal preferences and tolerances may be, are we comfortable with them, are they our friends, do we trust them, do they have our back?. All the couples I've worked with, whether through counselling or mediation, have been different to each other... every couple! It shows me that our life partners are supposed to be different (our friends tend to be more similar). It creates a perfect balance... a ying - yang... One is usually more intraverted, the other extraverted; one a thinker, the other a feeler; one sensory, the other intuitive, etc. and it ma...

We all know this expression... but don't want to admit it, nor say that (sssshhhhh... quietly now) we have misery in our lives. With the opportunity I've offered for free sessions... I've heard from more than one person, that yah, I've got problems (issues) but I don't want to (not ready to) do anything yet... We all put ourselves into a postition where we are experiencing discomfort in some fashion or another and then do three things.... 1. "I'm not accountable for what I did to put myself here" ("I didn't do it") and.... 2.  "There's no other option" ("what are gonna do anyway?") and/or 3.  "It's not going to work anyway" ("It won't make a difference"). Even when viable options are presented to us, we balk at those options and will not consider or accept them as possibilities.... Here's the paradox (do you see it yet?) If we say we're unhappy, disturbed, unsettled (or however e...

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A GIFT FOR YOU FROM http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/ CELEBRATING 17 YEARS IN BUSINESS complimentary one hour session with Leland 17 sessions given away… absolutely free of charge If you feel someone you care about may benefit from using this gift, I encourage you to… pay it forward First come…first serve. Don’t miss this opportunity! Must make your appointment by March 1, 2011. No cancellations are accepted once appointment is booked. One coupon, one gift per person ($100 dollar value) (additional sessions available at regular fees) Healing minds, one person at a time. - Thank you for all your support over the years - print page and cut off coupon to bring to appointment or give away Appointment contact: Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com Collingwood 705-443-8290 Mississauga 905-510-9117 Book your complimentary appointment today or pay it forward.