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We all get stuck behind a thought (that we create!) and then proceed to gather evidence to justify the thought or belief. We create experiences which we then interpret as supporting our interpretations. A whirlwind of insanity that is consistently repeated... and then again! So we can say... see, I told you so!, I told you I was right (eous). We need to do this in order to support our sense of reality to maintain our reality. Psychotherapy, in my mind anyway, is not, nor should it be, about fixing a problem, or colluding with another person's belief or thought structure. It is a complex process of helping you clarify your understanding of your experience, exploring that understanding, reflecting that understanding, expanding that understanding and then altering the perception to help provide a sense of inclusion and connection; to experience your understanding through another's eyes without judgment or assumptions. When I'm asked what modality do I use in psychotherapy, I t...

Let's start with the obvious... We have a body. Our bodies are indicators that we're “alive” (with a sense of temporary permanence). You may like your body or not, but you will have it from the time you’re born to the day you die. We all seem to have things about our bodies that are either too big or too small or not in the right place. Our genetics are the creation of our ancestors… blame them if you need to blame someone. Then, do with it what you can to keep it healthy. Look at the obvious... What do you put into your body? Is it nurished sufficiently? Do you exercise your body? enough? do you sleep enough? We learn lessons. We all need to learn the same things about life and how to live. It’s a full time job. Everything we experience is a potential lesson and it never seems to end. Just when we think we get something, we don't. What's in your rear view mirror? We will experience mistakes. Mistakes seem to be part of growing. Now, chhhilll.... relaaaax...  We can onl...

None of us like to think that we " judge " (or at last don't like being caught in the act or think we are doing it on purpose). Most of us consider judgment as a form of looking for or creating negative information... typically about somone else. Some use it as a form of entertainment... Is " judging " normal? What's the purpose of this? What is the fimiliar outcome? Why do we do it... and sooooo frequently....? Is it a comparison to allow ourselves to feel better? If we are critical or find fault in another person then at least we can say that "we don't do that!" or "look like that" or "aren't that way"... Even in our "positive judgment" we tend to be comparing... noticing differences... Why? What then draws our attention to "that" in the first place and then cause us to place judgement? Our judgments allow us to hold our typically thought patterns and beliefs in place. We construct a sense of reali...

Is this a day of celebration of love in your life? Is it about that special gift? That special person? For some, it is a day of regret, of loss, of depression... The kind of love most associated with this day, is typically about romantic love created from our limited sense of what that kind of love is. We can also look at how much we like someone, how much we enjoy their company, how much we may think of them in their absense, what our personal preferences and tolerances may be, are we comfortable with them, are they our friends, do we trust them, do they have our back?. All the couples I've worked with, whether through counselling or mediation, have been different to each other... every couple! It shows me that our life partners are supposed to be different (our friends tend to be more similar). It creates a perfect balance... a ying - yang... One is usually more intraverted, the other extraverted; one a thinker, the other a feeler; one sensory, the other intuitive, etc. and it ma...

We all know this expression... but don't want to admit it, nor say that (sssshhhhh... quietly now) we have misery in our lives. With the opportunity I've offered for free sessions... I've heard from more than one person, that yah, I've got problems (issues) but I don't want to (not ready to) do anything yet... We all put ourselves into a postition where we are experiencing discomfort in some fashion or another and then do three things.... 1. "I'm not accountable for what I did to put myself here" ("I didn't do it") and.... 2.  "There's no other option" ("what are gonna do anyway?") and/or 3.  "It's not going to work anyway" ("It won't make a difference"). Even when viable options are presented to us, we balk at those options and will not consider or accept them as possibilities.... Here's the paradox (do you see it yet?) If we say we're unhappy, disturbed, unsettled (or however e...

There are 12 free sessions left. Email or call today to get yours! Until later Leland http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/ Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com 705 443 8290 905 510 9117

A GIFT FOR YOU FROM http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/ CELEBRATING 17 YEARS IN BUSINESS complimentary one hour session with Leland 17 sessions given away… absolutely free of charge If you feel someone you care about may benefit from using this gift, I encourage you to… pay it forward First come…first serve. Don’t miss this opportunity! Must make your appointment by March 1, 2011. No cancellations are accepted once appointment is booked. One coupon, one gift per person ($100 dollar value) (additional sessions available at regular fees) Healing minds, one person at a time. - Thank you for all your support over the years - print page and cut off coupon to bring to appointment or give away Appointment contact: Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com Collingwood 705-443-8290 Mississauga 905-510-9117 Book your complimentary appointment today or pay it forward.

Are you living the dream you really want or are you living the dream you don't want? Is your focus on what you don't have or on what's wrong with what you do have? ... perhaps a shift in focus is what's required! It may be that you may not be clear about what you want... simple question... not always easy to answer. Focus on what you feel good about, what excites you, what you look forward to in your day... For now, set aside any thoughts of how you might achieve/acquire these (assuming you don't have them yet). The exercise is only to clarify what you want... what do you want to be doing?, where do you want to be?, what do you want to be?, what do you want to have? Until later, Leland http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/ Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com

We all tend to have recurring thoughts that may seem to distract us from what we "should" be thinking about... in some ways we're all a little ADD... What do you tend to be drawn to in your thoughts? What seems to be your focus, in spite you telling yourself not to think about ______ ? Or, alternatively, what do you try to not think about? Remember one of the "rules of our brain" (found elsewhere in my blog)... what we try to not think about is what we think about! Instead of struggling with this process, consider it as something natural... even helpful! After all, there must be some reason why our minds get taken to certain places. Consider that our thoughts are not always meant to be taken literally... but rather figuratively. Our thoughts are indicators of our inner beliefs... our subconscious and perhaps the very obstacles that disable us from actually having/obtaining what we want? Why don't we have what we say we want and why do we have what we say we...

What is in your "mind's" eye? What do you find yourself thinking about in a repeated manner? What thoughts seem to draw your focus more than others? Or alternatively, what you try not to think about? ... which causes you to think about it more! It's important to know what these things are. They are indicators... clue if you will, into our inner beliefs... our "minds" eye. I put mind in "" because we have two distinct and separate thought systems... conscious ... unconscious; ego ... spiritual; ... struggle, conflict, fear & judgement ... peaceful... If you don't have what you think you want... why not? It could be that your "minds" eye is drawn to the  very obstacle that disables you from having that which you want! Are you thinking with your minds eye or your eyes mind? Until later Leland http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/ leland@CounsellingandMediation.com