when you separate...

Tensions run high, and couples often make poor decisions in the heat of the moment. Given the mountain of financial, practical and emotional details that have to be sorted, it’s not surprising so many couples wind up making critical mistakes on the road to divorce.


You can make it less stressful by using a family mediator who will help guide you through the process and help you resolve your differences.

Here are some things to NOT DO when you are separating:

Don’t Increase Your Debt

Divorce can be expensive... mediation is typically less expensive and faster. On top of lawyer's fees, you will need money to set up a new household. Though it may be difficult to make ends meet, you should get used to having less now. Remember, your legal bills and court costs may come due before you receive your first payment of alimony or even your share of the marital property. Start a budget... even if you've never done this before... it's better to know what you're dealing with.

Don’t Take It Out On the Kids

Children reflect the attitudes and responses of their parents. Be responsible in what you are allowing them to experience. Children need a supportive environment to deal with divorce. Minimize the amount you talk about the process. It will give you more time to be there for them. Refocus your energy so you can attend their school and after-school events, help them with homework, and take them out once in a while to the movies or the zoo. When you are relaxed, they get more relaxed. Though you should be comfortable talking with your children about the divorce, the point of this divorce is to relieve stress on you and your family. You can read more about the effects on children on my website... www.CounsellingandMediation.com

Don’t Forget to have a look at your Will and Insurance

Divorce does not automatically revoke a will. If you want to prevent your soon-to-be-ex-spouse from receiving the monies and privileges granted them in your will, you need to update your will. You can re-do a will at any time. But if you die before you are granted a divorce, and you have left your spouse nothing, he or she can sue and recover part of your estate.

Don’t Refuse to See a Therapist

Seeing a therapist can help you get through the range of emotions that you will experience during your divorce. It is a good idea to get help before you become extremely depressed or angry. A therapist is not just someone to talk to. They are also a professional who can show you how to relax, how to talk to your kids, and how to remain calm in court. Most importantly, a therapist can help you figure out how to become self-sufficient.

Leland Clipperton
psychotherapist. family mediator

705 999-2107
905 510-9117

leland@CounsellingandMediation.com
www.CounsellingandMediation.com