Gratitude

We have all heard it (and perhaps said it) before.... this is not re-inventing nor inventing the wheel....

BE GRATEFUL!...

you know.. you should be more grateful!... Count your blessings! yeh, yeh, yeh... enough already.

We typically have a defensive responsive at the time because we're busy not being grateful and don't want to hear... blah, blah, blah...

Why should I be more grateful when I don't have what I want? or what I have... or at least part of it... sucks!? Don't most of us think that... perhaps quietly, secretively?

We have this seemingly innate need to believe in our own deprivation. We can easily focus on what we don't have, or on what we do have that’s wrong… rather than looking differently at the reasons why we have what we have.

I need to tell you that it's a different experience when you realize that we are creators, or at least co-creators of our lives. It is not the external that is creating the belief in deprivation... it is our interpretation. We do this so that we can justify blaming our situation, other people, etc. and not take responsibility for what we don't have (or do have)... all the time forgetting that it is us who is interpreting that information.

When we understand that this MUST be the case (we’re the only ones making the decisions), then we can begin to take more responsibility to consciously make (create) different interpretations, to make more informed decisions to not blame.

I often tell clients that the most difficult and challenging part about sitting across from me is becoming fully self-accountable and self-responsible... and that the best part about sitting across from me (their therapist) is becoming fully self-accountable and self-responsible...



This does two things… it relieves us of the identity of being victims (or at least makes that more difficult) and that we do have the ability and control to create the desired changes. We don't have to wait for the situation, other person or circumstance to change in order for us to feel better... be different.

In the end we are self-directed... on some level it is only our decisions that direct and guide us... we are, like or not, in control (which is a good thing!). What we suffer from is ignorance, misinformation and making less conscious, uninformed decisions.

To take your desires (things you feel you don't have or alternatively… things you have that you don’t want) and make them real... something needs to change. It's not that you can't have that (whatever that is), but it is our task then to figure out what we're doing right now that is disabling us to acquire/accomplish that which we are really choosing (on some level) to not have! It could be that you are secretly telling yourself that your won't have or can't have whatever (or whoever), that you will never have... whatever... you don't deserve it, you're unworthy, it's too hard to get anyway, it'll take too long, you're not smart enough, it costs too much... whatever the justification is... you WILL believe in it and it WILL seem very real.

What we can forget is that... isn't it us that is creating that focus, that interpretation, that justification, that reality????

Do you want to change this old habit? Try something different (but not that unique!)

One way to put this change into practice right now... TODAY... is by expressing gratitude.

Focus on saying thank you... to yourself, to others... yes, for EVERYTHING! You, after all, chose to have "it" (being an undesirable) there in your life anyway... didn't you? (you just may not have realized it?)

You, after all chose to have "it" in your life, or not in your life. There must be a reason... Let's figure that out and maybe it'll open up another door. What have you got to lose? How much will it cost you to practice being grateful?

You don't even have to really believe the practice of saying thank you to have the practice change your attitude, your outlook, your approach. The idea is to metaphorically shake up the tree a bit. Others will respond differently to you. Take note of the differences YOU are creating! … within yourself and in others.

Being "in control" is actually a good thing. Remember, if our lives are something we (at the least) co-create, then... if there is part of it you want to change... there is no real reason that it can't, other than what we "make up" and then justify and make real in our minds. If we can do that, then we can attempt other methods that will, at the least, create a different result... and therefore a more informed decision.


Also remember that you cannot change a problem on the same level it was created at! What if abundance really is there/here for us to enjoy... today!

Until later,

Leland

Help is here.
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com
705 443 8290
905 510 9117