Skip to main content

Gratitude

We have all heard it (and perhaps said it) before.... this is not re-inventing nor inventing the wheel....

BE GRATEFUL!...

you know.. you should be more grateful!... Count your blessings! yeh, yeh, yeh... enough already.

We typically have a defensive responsive at the time because we're busy not being grateful and don't want to hear... blah, blah, blah...

Why should I be more grateful when I don't have what I want? or what I have... or at least part of it... sucks!? Don't most of us think that... perhaps quietly, secretively?

We have this seemingly innate need to believe in our own deprivation. We can easily focus on what we don't have, or on what we do have that’s wrong… rather than looking differently at the reasons why we have what we have.

I need to tell you that it's a different experience when you realize that we are creators, or at least co-creators of our lives. It is not the external that is creating the belief in deprivation... it is our interpretation. We do this so that we can justify blaming our situation, other people, etc. and not take responsibility for what we don't have (or do have)... all the time forgetting that it is us who is interpreting that information.

When we understand that this MUST be the case (we’re the only ones making the decisions), then we can begin to take more responsibility to consciously make (create) different interpretations, to make more informed decisions to not blame.

I often tell clients that the most difficult and challenging part about sitting across from me is becoming fully self-accountable and self-responsible... and that the best part about sitting across from me (their therapist) is becoming fully self-accountable and self-responsible...



This does two things… it relieves us of the identity of being victims (or at least makes that more difficult) and that we do have the ability and control to create the desired changes. We don't have to wait for the situation, other person or circumstance to change in order for us to feel better... be different.

In the end we are self-directed... on some level it is only our decisions that direct and guide us... we are, like or not, in control (which is a good thing!). What we suffer from is ignorance, misinformation and making less conscious, uninformed decisions.

To take your desires (things you feel you don't have or alternatively… things you have that you don’t want) and make them real... something needs to change. It's not that you can't have that (whatever that is), but it is our task then to figure out what we're doing right now that is disabling us to acquire/accomplish that which we are really choosing (on some level) to not have! It could be that you are secretly telling yourself that your won't have or can't have whatever (or whoever), that you will never have... whatever... you don't deserve it, you're unworthy, it's too hard to get anyway, it'll take too long, you're not smart enough, it costs too much... whatever the justification is... you WILL believe in it and it WILL seem very real.

What we can forget is that... isn't it us that is creating that focus, that interpretation, that justification, that reality????

Do you want to change this old habit? Try something different (but not that unique!)

One way to put this change into practice right now... TODAY... is by expressing gratitude.

Focus on saying thank you... to yourself, to others... yes, for EVERYTHING! You, after all, chose to have "it" (being an undesirable) there in your life anyway... didn't you? (you just may not have realized it?)

You, after all chose to have "it" in your life, or not in your life. There must be a reason... Let's figure that out and maybe it'll open up another door. What have you got to lose? How much will it cost you to practice being grateful?

You don't even have to really believe the practice of saying thank you to have the practice change your attitude, your outlook, your approach. The idea is to metaphorically shake up the tree a bit. Others will respond differently to you. Take note of the differences YOU are creating! … within yourself and in others.

Being "in control" is actually a good thing. Remember, if our lives are something we (at the least) co-create, then... if there is part of it you want to change... there is no real reason that it can't, other than what we "make up" and then justify and make real in our minds. If we can do that, then we can attempt other methods that will, at the least, create a different result... and therefore a more informed decision.


Also remember that you cannot change a problem on the same level it was created at! What if abundance really is there/here for us to enjoy... today!

Until later,

Leland

Help is here.
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com
705 443 8290
905 510 9117
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Effects of Separation and Divorce in Children

  Most divorcing parents are very concerned about their children’s reactions to their separation and divorce. They want to know, “Will my child grow up to be healthy and happy?” Sociologists and psychologists are just beginning to provide reliable information about the effects of divorce on children. There are a number of important factors. Research shows that the effects depend on the age of the child at the time of divorce. It can also depend on the child’s gender and personality, the amount of conflict between parents and the support provided by friends and family.   One factor is clear though... the better you deal with your separation, the better your children will be!     Children 's Age   We know little about the effects of divorce on children younger than two or three years of age. Young children do not always suffer if a divorce occurs. However, problems may occur if a close relationship or bond between a parent and child is broken. Parents should agree...
Post a Comment
Read more

NewYear's Resolutions? How to be Successful!

New Year Resolutions? No Excuses! Most of us have made,,, and failed at our New Years Resolutions... In fact, most don't even bother any more... tired of feeling disappointed and upset at our own personal failures. There is a reason for everything! We need to better explore and understand why this occurs year after year... why we tend to make the same old mistakes and follow a similar path to a seemingly forgone conclusion. There is only one truth which is irrefutable: when what you're thinking or doing isn't creating the result you want... you need to change something! Repeating the same behaviour and expecting different results is Einstein's definition of insanity!   Be successful this year!!!!!!  To start with: 1. Ask yourself why you think you want what you want? Write it down... all of it. 2. Ask yourself what you will be like when you achieve your resolution? 3. Then... the tough one... ask yourself what has interfered with you achieving your goals previously...
Post a Comment
Read more

Plan "B"

We are all accountable and responsible for our thoughts, words and deeds. Whatever we feel may be the "cause" of our demise, our pain, our struggle, our distress, our lack, our incompetence, our inadequacies, our misfortune... we are the only ones who can make this different. We need to step up to the plate, put our toes on the line and make a decision. Assess what you consider to be the problem, the cause of the problem and all the possible solutions you can think of. Ask those close to you what they think... and listen. Try to avoid the tendency to dismiss any ideas you may hear that might not fit what you THINK. If the solutions we consider to be feasible are based on someone else being different, or a situation being different without our changing, then the solution won't work... it just doesn't. You can paint it any colour you like, stop relying on that. The most common definition of insanity is one that most of you have heard... Repeating the same behaviour and ...
Post a Comment
Read more