Skip to main content

I Get To!

Many of us have had life changing moments that are occasssionly recalled in positive ways as well as negative ways... Here is one...


I was having one of those bad mornings a number of years ago... thinking about bills to pay, dishes to do, clients to see and I HAD to take our son to school... generally telling myself that I was soooo burdened and victimized in my life...

All the things I HAD TO DO!!!!!

Coincidently my brother called in the midst of the building turmoil in my mind... "Hi, how's it goin?" he said. Well, I let into him about ALL the "problems" and "burdens" I was experiencing, including having to drive my son to school...

He responded... "Oh, you mean you GET to take him to school!"
My life change in that moment... I do get to, I don't HAVE TO... I choose to...

No matter what excuses or justifications I use to explain or experience my self-victimization, I am choosing in that moment. Not because I neccessarily want to but because I am asleep in my own dream of struggle and conflict and am busy gathering evidence to make it all seem real and justified. Why would I choose to think that doing something I actually enjoyed and would certainly miss when I couldn't do it, would be a burden? (It was certainly bitter-sweet when he got his first car and was driving himself to school! like teaching your child to ty his own shoes, knowing that you won't be able to after he learns...)

I get to choose. What a novel idea and perspective to remember and what a seemingly easy thing to forget.

Until later,
Leland Clipperton, H.S.C.

http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Effects of Separation and Divorce in Children

  Most divorcing parents are very concerned about their children’s reactions to their separation and divorce. They want to know, “Will my child grow up to be healthy and happy?” Sociologists and psychologists are just beginning to provide reliable information about the effects of divorce on children. There are a number of important factors. Research shows that the effects depend on the age of the child at the time of divorce. It can also depend on the child’s gender and personality, the amount of conflict between parents and the support provided by friends and family.   One factor is clear though... the better you deal with your separation, the better your children will be!     Children 's Age   We know little about the effects of divorce on children younger than two or three years of age. Young children do not always suffer if a divorce occurs. However, problems may occur if a close relationship or bond between a parent and child is broken. Parents should agree...
Post a Comment
Read more

NewYear's Resolutions? How to be Successful!

New Year Resolutions? No Excuses! Most of us have made,,, and failed at our New Years Resolutions... In fact, most don't even bother any more... tired of feeling disappointed and upset at our own personal failures. There is a reason for everything! We need to better explore and understand why this occurs year after year... why we tend to make the same old mistakes and follow a similar path to a seemingly forgone conclusion. There is only one truth which is irrefutable: when what you're thinking or doing isn't creating the result you want... you need to change something! Repeating the same behaviour and expecting different results is Einstein's definition of insanity!   Be successful this year!!!!!!  To start with: 1. Ask yourself why you think you want what you want? Write it down... all of it. 2. Ask yourself what you will be like when you achieve your resolution? 3. Then... the tough one... ask yourself what has interfered with you achieving your goals previously...
Post a Comment
Read more

Plan "B"

We are all accountable and responsible for our thoughts, words and deeds. Whatever we feel may be the "cause" of our demise, our pain, our struggle, our distress, our lack, our incompetence, our inadequacies, our misfortune... we are the only ones who can make this different. We need to step up to the plate, put our toes on the line and make a decision. Assess what you consider to be the problem, the cause of the problem and all the possible solutions you can think of. Ask those close to you what they think... and listen. Try to avoid the tendency to dismiss any ideas you may hear that might not fit what you THINK. If the solutions we consider to be feasible are based on someone else being different, or a situation being different without our changing, then the solution won't work... it just doesn't. You can paint it any colour you like, stop relying on that. The most common definition of insanity is one that most of you have heard... Repeating the same behaviour and ...
Post a Comment
Read more